Never Been Yourself

To good effect, I am not really a bad person. For good reason too. But sometimes, I don't even know what that means. Fundamentally, I just live to get out of trouble. With the law, with other people, avoid embarrassing my immediate family, those I still have regular close contact with. I don't want to have to face the day when I have no face to face them, yet have to. I don't know what I would become, faceless? I definitely wouldn't be able to meet them in the eyes, with my eyes. So, it is safe to say, I am a good actor, acting to be a good person. And a willing one too. Till I even begin to believe I am a good person. Look, we all have to compromise at one point or another. We can never be our selves truly. How can you be when you don't even know what it is, what it feels like. That is, to be yourself. I lie, even to myself, that this is me. And that is fine with me. The question is, is it fine with you, for having never been yourself?