Recently, it has sunk in more readily. At different point in time. How I don't have all the answers. How life is a compromise. Do I really know how to live? How eventually we will all fade into obscurity. And that is about the only perfection. Perfection in leaving this place quietly. The grace of being forgotten gradually.
I thought I knew what is important to me. What I want out of life. Yet, on the edge of my conscious, there are always some doubts. How another world could be out there (another dimension, out in the vast universe?). The beauty of possibility in life. Or how this world could be so much better.
At times, I rather wrap myself in a web of lies. At times, I have looked to the sky for meaning. At times, as I watch my fellow residents go about their lives as if in a trance, caught in the rat race, I actually feel lost and wonder about the purpose of it all.