David's Fear

I must have written somewhere, at one time or another, how reading prompts one to write. Now, my novel at hand, J.M. Coetzee's "Disgrace", has my head crawling all over with written words. The main character, David, a professor who was a womaniser in his prime, after two divorces, is forced to resign from the university for having an affair with his twenty years old student. What intrigues me, credit to J.M Coetzee's in-depth writing, is how remorseless he feels for his deed. Deep down, all he is doing is clinging to some precious things he fears lost: time, passion. It's like he is a young man at heart, not ready to age in the heart, unable to watch his passion, his appetite for love goes to waste. It doesn't matter much that he is caught, condemned by the whole community, and the victim-student is the one who launches the complaint, he still believe she is pushed, cornered - not a shred of blame on her. He is not too old to change his ways or habits, to "reform", unlike what he proudly states. Though, he is just too young, or still young, to see or accept the stage of life he is in. We all have moments of weakness, yes, but it takes real maturity and strength of character, to admit our flaws, our fears.