The ABC of Safe Sex

So a piquant debate has been sparked once more. And I can't dam my deluge of thoughts.

Firstly, the "ABC" (Abstinence, Be faithful and Condom-use) message is rather controversial, I think. As if saying "if you think it won't happen to you, just be faithful, and if the chances are less than minimal, please learn to use a condom - you know, just to be safe." I mean, why the compromise? Why the step-down approach? Aren't we talking about our children's future here too?

It's reality all right, that teens do have sex and at times, multi-sex partners (who's kidding who?). That "the mean age at which Singaporeans lose their virginity" is 18.4 years old is nothing to be alarmed of and surely nothing to crow about. Okay, I take the latter back. Hey, it's their lives, their world: what goes in one ear, comes out the other. Like I used to say, the best education for our descendants is to present ourselves as model individual. Nothing less.

It's reality all right, that upon unveiling the marketing gimmick of condom manufacturers, is condom-use truly a safe sex practice (against HIV) at 99%? No, there is no visual trick here.

Abstinence - how I suddenly hate the word. I mean, if I will to tell my children to harness their raging hormone, it would be the greatest paradox. Try telling your 16 years old punky, rock-crazy ah boy that sex should be between two responsible, mature adults who love each other, and I am being mild here, discounting marriage. For I have heard enough, the various confusing "official" dates of marriage: the day you hold your Chinese wedding dinner, the day at the ROM (Registry of Marriage), the day you move into you flat cum love nest, or for the religious, the day your marriage is blessed by a priest. So in one way or another, most Singaporeans may have engaged in premarital sex. And there is always the issue of how old is mature enough, considering the teens' frightening speed of growth these days. So, they would ask: why wait?

All said, it's easy to understand how we are fighting a uphill battle. And investing in a HIV prevention programme seems more like throwing good money into a bottomless pit: you can't see or justify the return, can you?