A Squeeze

For a moment, my life flashed before me...

Three days in a row, it had been nothing except work and evening classes. Documents piled up on my workstation: a testament of overstretched workload, for I am also covering for my colleague in her absence. But nobody’s complaining. My desk would be an eyesore for my boss in normal situation. I was also determined not to let anything gets to me. Well, at least I tried…

I was on the phone late afternoon. There was this irksome problem, and the other party wasn’t helping. Finally, I felt I had enough and decided to propose some drastic measure that required my boss’s assent. So I got up from my armchair-like swiveling chair, turning only to see an unlikely visitor. Lynn, from another branch, had temporarily come over for some Users’ Acceptance Testing. She is in her late 30s, I think, though, looking much younger. Sporting close-cropped hair and glasses, her small frame sat in front of a monitor, back facing me. I was feeling friendly, I guess; I used to have so much fun teasing her, walking the thin line of flirtation – with words, that is. She looked to be in full concentration on the screen when I crept up, appreciating her presence. Then, my mind blanked as if the soul had chosen to leave its body momentarily. A hand reached out to circle the nape of her soft neck. She almost shrieked out loud, perhaps muffled by shock, or an awareness of the office ambience. Nothing was said, as I disappeared into my boss’s cubicle, as if a few prominent seconds of my life had passed without being registered.

Much later, it all came back to me – everything, as I sat in contemplation. What have I done? This is so totally not me. I had not-so-innocent fun with the ladies, yes, but never had I invaded the privilege of touching their flesh – until now. It was not a sin by any count – the difference lies in my intention, but who would believe. I could have said to have committed a crime by social standard, thrown my future within four empty walls; a few marks on my butt to be tainted for life. What has come over me? I was baffled. Then I remembered the key chain with a star-shaped stress ball hanging against my CPU until I squeezed it into submission of form with a tear in its arc.

My initial conclusion: I need a stress ball. But seriously, is it really that simple? Or am I a serial molester in the making? Putting that aside, I was concerned about the emotional scar, if any, that might be left in my victim; she is a friend too, I did not forget.

Today, being apologetic, I managed to find out from her friend that things aren’t that bad after all. I guess this comes from the fact that she understands me well enough to dismiss it as something out of character. On my part, a dessert treat was offered as a gesture of goodwill. This she accepted graciously.