Let's Talk about Sex

I am having "itchy" fingers today, aching to blog. It is a phenomenon worth studying, I realised.

My day was mostly spent at the library catching up with my studies and reading Yasunari Kawabata’s Beauty and Sadness among others, Kafka’s The Great Wall of China included.

Evening approached with a strong gale and a sun that seemed to thrill in its final blast of heat. My destination: The Borders Bookstore at downtown. They are having a sale this weekend: all books at 20% off. With a Brave New World (the Aldous Huxley's classic which I cherished during my National Service) in hand, I browsed through the fiction section, and my eyes fell on this title, Let’s Talk about Sex. Fancy a full-grown man tittering at a sexually explicit title; I can be pretty squeamish at times, I know. But, like a tiny crack on a dam gradually sprawling zip-zap lines in all directions, all the memories came flooding in…

It was about the time as we hit the big Three-O that an all-guys outing at Plaza Singapura concurred with a simple dinner. Cody was preparing for his wedding then, so inevitably the subject of marriage was brought up.

Winston was the main guardian of singlehood in our little joust, and I was not much help. Then the real test – or so it seemed - manifested right before our eyes: the means of harnessing our carnal desire. The solution seemed simple enough, Winston quipped, one bushy eyebrow arching: well, a trip to Geylang* is fully justifiable and practical, don’t you think? He stopped short at exchanging information on good bargain or great service. But that was because of me trying my hand at stand-up comedy, remarking that DIY is like going for a field exercise (during our National Service), in comparison to a real war, firing blanks; no life is at risk, you see.

Our conversation next drifted to virginity where Winston proclaimed his pre-requisite for his love: uncompromisingly, a virgin. It seemed fair to him that he could demand what virtue he himself exhibits, which sounded reasonable to me at first.

On further interrogation however, we discovered that he was not against pre-marital sex. So does that mean that sex is alright before marriage as long as it is with him, not that he is keeping his chastity till marriage? To me that is pure sexism, and I pointed an accusing finger (one towards him, three towards myself), stereotyping him a male chauvinist pig, much to the amusement of Cody. I wasn’t fuming, but I coated my disappointment with dry-panned humour. What happened to whatever happened in the past remain in the past? What happened to what I treasure are the present and the future we hold together? Yes, I didn’t forget, all these only belong to the movies, but these ideals have always sat inside me subconsciously, not that I am much an advocate of chastity myself. But it seems hypocritical of my good friend here, to assume his damsel to hold out, when he himself wouldn't, or couldn't. Gosh, men have not changed much down the lines, craving for the purity and innocence of a virgin bride. And to think we are in a brave new world...

*our nation’s notorious red light district, but by no means, the only one.