At Best, Mediocre

Normally, after a Toastmasters Chapter meeting, one's spirit would soar. Maybe it is the laughter, the human interactions and the freedom to speak one's mind, but somehow nothing of the sort worked out this time. I fumbled my address as a Sergeant at Arm, I know. Blame it on my ill- preparation, though this is no reason to be feeling down. As the meeting ended, there was an informal post-mortem. The TOE (Toastmaster of the Evening) was at times, speaking too fast, somebody quipped. Some protocols were ignored; that was me, I thought. Nothing specific was mentioned about my performance though. Now, I have been doing this for like, the past one and a half years - this public speaking stuff, that is. At times, I had stammered or forgotten my line for my speech project. Well, my club mates have been more than encouraging; they realised too that I am in it for passion firstly, and self-development secondary, but their silence on my deficiency is getting to me. I know, I am at best, mediocre - KL told me so, or rather I asked for his opinion as a moderately seasoned evaluator not too long ago. My passion remains burning, even if it is kind of hard carrying on at this point, though, I have no doubt how good a speaker I become would depend on how much effort I put into rehearsing my speech.

Similarly, and I can say that with a high degree of certainty as closely connected is writing to public speaking, my writing is nothing much more than mediocre. I can't lie to myself. All I have to do is click through my entries on this blog, make a simple comparison with any bloggers out there, and I could see plainly that I do have lot to learn. I don't know when I will stop loving all this stuff: writing and public speaking. I am hoping never.