Living Poet Society

What I Didn't Tell You

We ended up in a bar whose name I didn't know.
I had a black russian. You had something that you didn't like.
There was a pianist. He played silly love songs.
Can't Help Falling In Love. If You Don't Know Me By Now.
I was all screwed up inside.

You weren't crying anymore. I felt like having
another drink. I said that I wasn't ready. Not for this.
Not now. All screwed up inside. Had to sort myself
out first. Take some time. Nothing to do with you, I said.
I thought that this might be a good time to get drunk.

So we talked. For a long time. Until the pianist quit.
A saxophonist came on. If you get drunk, you can say
anything you like. Or not say it. Nobody will know
whether you meant it or not. Nobody blames you
for anything

"Next time, I'll pay." That was what I said.
When we were leaving. Just to see how you'd react
to the words. Next time. I wasn't drunk.
Didn't get drunk after all. Didn't tell you
that I loved you.

- Gilbert Koh
(Extracted from "Love Gathers All", the Philippines~Singapore Anthology of Love Poetry)

I have no convincing explanation whatever so why this poetry somehow left a nostalgic aftertaste lingering in some secret chamber in my soul. Perhaps, it is the suggestion of courage acquired when drunk to say I love you. As if being in love is like getting drunk silly, so you can't be hold gulity for it's ending. As if love is also about right timing and state of mind.

Afterthought: I am wary that dissecting a poetry may inflict damage to its beauty, which partly explains my restrain in expressing my own thoughts. I am also only a layman when it comes to poetry, although I don't see why I can't appreciate it the way I did.