蔡淳佳: 前座後座

沉默来了很久 待更久
在 右边 担忧 背后的痛
飘移的心前进 又退后
爱到了街头应该怎麽兜

承诺晚了多久 才看透
这前座后座 不属於我
原来说了郑重 该保重
我再也没有理由跟你走(疯)

我真的有抱紧你的冲动
我真的有想起你而感动
然而她的香味残留衣袖
那已渗透渗透你的心中

我真的有抱紧你的冲动
我真的有想起你而感动
但播放的回忆(爱情)属於朋友
我已没有没有资格逗留
怎能不放手

我真的有抱紧你的冲动
我真的有想起你而感动
但谁能够保证这次不同
她已渗透渗透你的心中

我真的有抱紧你的冲动
我真的有想起你而感动
明白心动不碰就不心痛
多年以后我们除了问候
还可以握手

P.S.: I have to listen to this song at least once a day, really.

The Poet

I

A sculptor seeking for a nibble of his heart
Carves a similar unfathomable piece:
We become closer.

II

A harpist plays a melody unknown
On the strings of morning light,
To stir each birth of dew.

REAL Run 2009

The alarm rang at the ungodly hour of four. Washed up, took coffee and a snack bar from Seven-Eleven.

I flagged down a taxi - a lone metal box of unblinking eyes - in the silence of the morning air. The cab-driver was chatty, as they usually are, as if to confirm you are human, or to keep themselves awake. He asked where the run is to be held - the typical question.

Climbed up the chartered bus at about 4.50 am, near the taxi-stand at Jurong East MRT station. The man tearing my ticket uttered "Take care". I wondered what exactly he meant. On the bus, I realised my camera's battery had pretty much exhausted, which explained this almost photo-less post.

The wait for the toilet was short, as was for the run. At the start point, one could view the vast expanse of the sea, a pink hue hid under misty, gold-edged clouds. This year, contrary to common belief, the 10 Km runners was flagged off first at 7 AM.

The weather was perfect, very unlike last year. I got past the first 4 KM or so of dirt trail feeling strong. Hitting the taxiway, I guess I must have slowed down as a lot of runners was overtaking me. A black speck of a bird soared in company from the clear blue sky. I picked up my speed nearer the beach and park. Then, it was back to the taxiway. I thought I maintained a rather consistent, fast pace then, while some runners were either walking or falling behind. Because of that, I thought I was going to break my one-hour barrier, which pushed me on, but still missed the mark - though, not by much.

My Result (out on race day - I am impressed!)

Bib: 10MO4484 TimeStart: 07:01:19 CheckPt1: 00:22:54 RkC1: 412 CheckPt2: 00:40:03 RkC2: 550 NetTime: 01:02:53 Total_Finish: 01:03:54 Rank: 663

P.S.: Like C had changed the name on his race bib to "Storm Rider", I will change my to something more "adventurous" for a bigger race next year. C said he will change his to "Hell Raiser".

Sleep...Defeat

Sleep evading; thoughts emptied of feat. On my bed, sketched out into distance are my lonely feet. Rest and peace of the mind waiting, in eventuality, to leave me in defeat.

P.S.: Sometimes, I can be such a pain in the ass. But that's another story...

Old Songs

I often wonder why the songs these days
Aren't as moving as those of our days

Long gone, so I keep going back to
The old songs I wrapped myself in, bathing in

The light of nostalgia, yet trying not to lament
How things have changed, how this scarred house

Refused to sway with the wind of emotions
In its cemented bricks of solitude.

Fiction: Dear old friend...

Dear old friend,

How have you been? Been in love, or out of, again? Has life been fulfilling, happy, with, or without another to share it? How about work? Has it brought you the things you wanted?

I thought of you again, the one you were. More than ten years back, I think it must have been, when we cried watching "Love Letter". Tears flowed again, unrestrained, this time watching it on cable TV. Not only because of the longing, the sentimentality for love lost. Not only because of the fragility of white snow. But for the years gone, the heart hardened with the rigour of life, hardly allowing time and space to breathe in the purest of emotions, that which only transmits between innocent hearts without doubts.

Perhaps we will meet up one of these days. Of course, as we are now, not the persons we were, which just wouldn't be possible. Do you see that as clearly as I do now?

Maybe...

At my workstation, I have beside my monitor, a few movie ticket stubs: "Departure", "The Reader", to name a few. A colleague came around for a chit-chat the other day. Upon seeing the squares of almost-illegible words randomly pinned, she blurted out,"Do you always watch movies alone?"

I don't really know how that came about. Maybe because they are single stubs - I usually throw them away, save for one. Maybe I have always come across to her as a loner. Maybe I read too much into an inconsequential remark. Maybe...