Singlehood

A slightly younger female colleague, still single, once had a question struck in her throat: is it better to be single or married? She asked a married man, and got no answer. I thought, why didn't she ask me, and I really wanted to tell her, for I thought I got the answer right here. I would have said at that point, that whichever path you choose, there is bound to be ups and downs. To wit, either path will have its own set of problems - or maybe some of them will overlap. So it is hardly a good question to ask, if you ask me, since the two paths are not comparable. Though to be sensitive, I would have said, "what matters is what you really want deep inside, since there isn't a better, or a less tortuous path". And I really thought that was the best advice I would give.

Now, sleepless, I fall into an internal dialectic. Subconsciously, I think I may be running away from my own fear of singlehood, as I believe it may cause me more and more problems as I turn older and live to regret it. So I am not excepted from this fate too. Perhaps I lack the fortitude. Perhaps it is the night that makes me vulnerable emotionally. Now, having settled down to write, I can see that it would be a big mistake to get married due to my fear.

And again, what is to be happy? It does not take a life-partner to change things, really. For a happy life is a house built by bricks of happy moments. And happy moments are created by spending them on the things you like to do.

Now, gone are the days when I used to think that no one is single by choice. And I know, deep down, I am more equiped to deal with whatever problems that may arise, even though I may not be able to anticipate all of them now.