Friday, November 15, 2013

About the Unknowns and the Present

It must have been months. But it feels more like years. Since I write. Even the rafters smell moldy, and silvery cobwebs adorn every shadowy nook like Christmas's baubles swinging at the lamp posts along Orchard Road. Like a dated feather duster associated more with penance in my book, I pull my mind's tip across this blankness, effacing emptiness. Ants feel their single path from left to right, across a foamy-white ocean depth unknown. Each leaving an unseen trail for the other behind to follow. There is no sugary sweetness, though, at the end, that I am sure. Life, is after all, like the moon wavering on the river face, all mirage. But I live with it, so I live. And only so.

Some poems...

Pole in a Bus

I am cold and I shiver
in light. For what purpose I
am here I don't know. All
I know is I have to stand.
That is my life - to stand
and nothing else - to prevent
a fall, sweaty desperations hang
around me; I have to be strong
then, unyielding. I am not
moved by their warmth.

- mrdes, 28 Aug 13 (edited)

P.S.: Not sure if this works, though I like it all the same.


I cradle him like quick sand, or what
remained of his lonely soul sinks
searching for something he sees
only in dreams, when he thinks
he is resting on silent sea carrying
him to unknown places, the curtains
flapping in restless dark are sails.

This is where he is most happy.
In my palm he can be himself
and controls his destiny.
Tears would warm his
cold cheeks to wet clean
sheet, carrying me into
his pool of sadness,
or happiness spreading.

Now I do not know who is
carrying who. And do I only
exist in his dreams?
The confusions crease
my face in the mornings.

- mrdes, undated (edited)

P.S.: Man likes to think his destiny is, or to a large extent is, in his hand. Perhaps, this insanity (or sanity, depending on how you see it) comes only in this psyche that keeps us alive. The only unsoundness amidst the noise of unknowns.

So I've decided, or the pieces have fallen into their places: I will just take one day at a time. I am just glad to be alive, embracing this present.

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