Monday, August 12, 2013


man is never free
from the common pull
of grounds, the comfort
of fake smile,
the intoxication of
sweet words,
the warmth of bare
sex, the centre
of himself


So this is where I end up. The other day KL blurted out of the blue: Have I given up? On marriage, or love, I guess he meant both, considering the context of our conversation. Thoughts in multitude stormed through the door: no, too fast for speech. Too late -  the genesis flashed past into wildness of the years gone. I only shook my head. Now, all calm, it all comes back to me. Through some back door. Vaguely. Like a ghost standing, waiting, forgotten, in some dark corridor - I wouldn't have noticed it if not for some fidgeting. Then again, it really doesn't matter, does it? I already knew then: it is a one-way ticket. And I took it gratefully. I was lucky. Or unlucky. It depends on how you look at it.

Once in a sweet while, your eyes linger just a little longer on a stranger's face, and wonder what it would have been.

And in that sense, I am never free.

P.S.: I think this is going to be one of those posts that years later, I would read through, and think "What the hell am I saying?"

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