Sunday, December 02, 2007

The One about My Love Affair with Vulgarities

(Kindly accuse yourself from this post if you haven't been enlisted for National Service - that is, of at least 17, 18 years old)

Word of the Day: Twat

From the on-line encyclopedia (I can't find a match with LearnersDictionary.com):

Twat has various meanings, clearly dependent upon which regional dialect. It is generally used as a vulgar synonym for the human vulva,[1] vagina, or clitoris, and is be used as a derogatory epithet. In British English, "twat" is often pronounced /twæt/ (to rhyme with bat). In other areas (eg. Australia, New Zealand and North America) it is also pronounced /twɒt/ (to rhyme with watt), as was common in British English usage in the past.

What I find amusing is this from my trusty Longman:

Twat (n): 1 a very offensive word for a stupid or unpleasant person. Do not use this word. 2 a very offensive word for the female sex organ. Do not use this word.

Well, you can go tell her: Do not use this word. Then again, she has written and published a book titled "My Boyfriend is a Twat". Give the lady a Tiger I say.

It's obvious, at least to me, that I have a twisted fascination with vulgarities and their origins - especially of the Hokkien variety. Alright, I guess the latter isn't so transparent, but it can be explained by the fact that I was born of Hokkien parents - it's in my blood. The Army also serves as a perfect breeding ground, not that they had taken my innocence along the way, no. The adult working life has taken its toil though, blunting the axe that was my acid tongue armed with "fuck you lah!", "WTF!", "shit!" and my personal favourites, "Chee Bye", "Lan Jiao" (all hokkien, pardon my weak translation); the former refers to vagina, the latter to penis. And of course, I haven't forgotten "Walau-eh!".

Still, an occasional "Shit!" is met with my female colleagues' mock disapproval. They are more comfortable with "Walau-eh!" you see.

A little extra about vagina. I was reading Eileen Chang's "Lust, Caution" (the original, Chinese version), when I came across the saying on how the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. So the way to a woman's heart according to Eileen? Need I say it?

7 comments:

zoe said...

This is 'her'.

Depending on where you live in the UK, 'twat' is used often as a stronger insult than 'twit'. my partner happens to come from an area in the UK where the word 'twat' is used often just to express what an idiot someone (mainly male) can be.

the word still applies to it's original meaning, though, although is not often used but replaced by other words.

"Well, you can go tell her: Do not use this word."

you could try ....;)

smudgi3 said...

what was really funny was that immediately after "Lust, Caution", I commented jokingly to my partner that "the fastest way to a woman's heart is through her vagina." then, a few days later, i bought the screenplay for him, and while reading through it, i found THAT phrase in Eileen Chang's story.

i was thrilled. LOL

mrdes said...

Hi smudgi3,

I'm utterly speechless! Eileen did dissect and depict the woman's mind so well!

(T) (H) (B) said...

Use CCB lor.. hee..

Unknown said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
mrdes said...

Hi HB,

CCB? Yes, I'm familiar with that one too, but those that you're trying to teach your boss are pretty "profound" stuff I think:P

Whiskoffee said...

~laughs!