Friday, December 17, 2004

The stress...

Being Single…

I guess there comes an age when you find most of your friends too busy to agree to a simple dinner or just to meet and chat. Or you realised that their priorities have somehow differed with the setting up of a family while you are left behind. And all this is just the beginning.

For those with brothers or sisters who are also single should count themselves fortunate as they would have company in their later years.

Singles can feel very lonely during the weekends and especially during long holidays like the Chinese New Year. To rub salt into wound, you would get to see all your younger cousins with one or more toddlers in hand.

The individual may have other commitments like night class or part-time job after a hard day at work, but it is in between the journey to work or class that the loneliness hit you most. You may be just looking out of the bus window at the passing crowds and suddenly feel that your destiny or the love of your life is somewhere hidden in the crowd, probably feeling as lonely, if not worse. You began to question whether you have done your best in finding your destiny.

I guess, more or less, I have come to the stage where I believe my destiny is in my hands and no one else. Only I am answerable if I should spend the rest of my life alone. The fact is that love does not come to everybody. Thus, I have to get used to loneliness. I can't stress enough the importance of having the right attitude or mental approach towards everything in my life. I can't be further from the truth if I will to say I would not have come this far without a right attitude towards love and destiny.

A female friend said that a single female is less independent emotionally. In another word, a single male would survive better emotionally without a partner. I don’t quite agree with this as I could see that a female would easily click with her peers in emotionally in-depth relationships. This is usually not the case for a male.

It can be very painful to reach home in the evening, wanting to put the day's work away, looking for a warm embrace or even a little bit of company in the privacy of your own room; she need not had to talk much, she just need to be there. And to think that this pain will not end till your life ended. I don't even remember how it feels to miss a person and to feel someone special in my heart. All in all, I think it is a sad state of the human race for an individual to be left out of this so-called paradise, although I have never doubted that there is much more to life.


I certainly think that this is so much less important an issue compared with those mentioned previously as they said" you don't miss what you don’t have". I have heard enough from health specialists who unanimously swear on sex working wonder for our health and longevity (the same can be said of coffee or Whisky!). You might think it is easy for me to say this, but I would not think that having sex with someone you just met at a pub would solve the problem which I think is more of an emotional one.


This has to be currently, the most talk-about issue, what with the National Day rally speech announcing the procreation package, complete with widely circulated articles and interviews about the pros and know-how of child raising. Patriotism aside, the government was wrong about stopping at two the last time around (thus the situation we are currently facing), while it is still early days whether young graduates will be tempted. Would there be undesirable results such as higher number of unwanted babies, abortions or divorces due to people trying to catch the train? Then again, what choices do the government has? Not much, I guess.

One reason to have kids that I found to my liking was highlighted in the movie "The Twilight Samurai". The movie, set at the end of the era of the Japanese warriors, tells the story of how a samurai single-handedly raised his children into adults of worthy characters. To a certain extent, I embrace the beautiful notion of leaving something behind to the world before one's inevitable death. In a way, we are shaping the future as the saying goes: "The type of person you are in your life is reflected in the characters of your offspring".

Personal Development...

I guess this is an area that I cannot run away from. Nothing can actually substitute for the confidence and growth gained from taking care of another person; at least at this point of time. But never the less, I will work with what I have without lamenting about what I can’t control or change. With time, hopefully, I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. No matter which card fate shows me, I will have to exert myself to adapt. I am pretty sure that the skills and attributes I have picked up along the way will be useful.

In love with someone…

It took me so long to finally recognise love as what it is. Nope, being lonely only qualified as an excuse to fall in love. Love, after all, is a selfless act. All you ever wanted was to make that special someone happy and smiling every single day of her life.

The Reality Check

It suddenly hit me from a Strait times news article. I stared at reality in the face; no money, no handsome face equals no girlfriend. Pictures of bachelors living alone in badly maintained rooms and working at ungracious job painted a grey image of what the future has for me. What have they got to look forward to: a comfortable place to lay in eternal rest? Or perhaps sliver spoons in their mouths in the next life?

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